An Infinite Monkey Writes: Family Reunion

Rounding the curve just twenty miles over its posted speed, the tail end of my car slid. Grinding my teeth, I sped up going out of the turn. Okay, I was driving too fast for the mountain roads, not, mind you, out of any need or even desire to hurry but because there’s a grim satisfaction in taking stupid risks, and grim-anything matched my present mood. I was a cranky big time and there was only the road to take it out on.

Family reunion time again. I’d tried to convince myself that I should be grateful the damn things only came once every five years now. Then too, I had talked my way out of the last one – hell, that’s ten years seeing no one more related than Mom. But, God, I was still OD’d on all those summers at the lake when I was a kid!

I suppose that’s a funny thing to say. I mean, it would thrill most kids to spend their summers in a cabin at a lake with lots of cousins around to play with. Somehow, with my family though, it was like being in the Twilight Zone.

Maybe that’s not fair, it wasn’t always big bad stuff. There were a lot of times when it was just regular bad stuff; you know, being teased by my rotten cousin Ronny and having to spend all that time outside with the bugs and junk. But when the big bad stuff happened, it really was the big bad stuff.

Like the summer Dad drowned and the next year when cousin Ronny disappeared.

Maybe that wasn’t all bad. I’ve always wondered if anyone, but Aunt Dora was sorry Ronny was gone. I sure wasn’t. Ronny had always been a pain. He’d teased me and chased me with snakes. He’d even tried to kiss me once, which was too gross. Then he’d read my diary.

Aunt Dora was always convinced that he’d run off to join the circus or something. Everyone else thought he’d gotten lost in the woods and died. For years afterwards, Aunt Dora was certain he would show up and tell us he’d had amnesia or something. I felt sorry for Aunt Dora, but she was kind of a silly woman.

Anyway, here it is, twenty-five years later; Aunt Dora finally knows the truth I guess, since she died about ten years ago, and I am on my way to yet another family reunion.

I managed not to kill myself on the rest of the drive to the lake. I got there far earlier than I’d have preferred, but I guess that’s my price for speeding.

Mom was there and in full swing. She sort of lives for these things. You’d have thought having her husband drowned at this lake would have put a damper on it for her, but Mom’s nothing, if not a trooper.

I got out of the car, dug out my sleeping bag and backpack and headed toward the large kitchen/dining room which is always designated as the “Culver Clan HQ”.

That’s where Mom greeted me. She swept me inside and introduced or re-introduced me to a dozen aunts, uncles, cousins and great-great-whatevers. They all greeted me with enthusiasm and “of course they remember me, and hadn’t I grown up beautiful, and smart too, why your mother tells me you program computers, those things are just beyond me…Yada, Yada, Yada.”

I plastered on a smile and tried not to let on how “ thrilled” I was to see them.

A couple of hours later I finally had a chance to pee and stow my junk in my assigned cabin. I’d also had talked a reluctant uncle into fixing me a gin and tonic. After a few swigs, I was thinking maybe I would get through the next week unscathed.

About that time, I heard a ruckus outside and one of the aunties said, “Oh good, the kids are back from their hike.”

I turned toward the door as it opened, curious as to the makings of the latest Culver generation. I drew in a sharp breath and nearly dropped my drink. The troop of nieces, nephews, and second-cousins pouring through the door, demanding food and soda, was being led by no other than cousin Ronny himself. Cousin Ronny, impossibly here, and just as impossibly looking exactly like the twelve-year-old boy I remembered.

Mom heard my gasped and laughed. “Oh Christy, I forget, you haven’t met Ronny, your cousin Alice’s boy. Amazing isn’t it.” Mom smiled a little sadly. “It’s almost like having our own Ronny back after all these years.”

Ronny turned to look at me as if he had heard us from across the room. His eyebrows raised slightly. Grinning impishly, he sauntered toward us.

“You must be cousin Christy.” He said, extending his hand to shake mine. Turning to Mom he added, “We’re all here now, right Auntie?” He smiled charmingly at her. She beamed back at him. I thought I might be sick. It was creepy looking at him. He really looked like his uncle.

I searched his profile for some marked difference, but there was none. I tried to tell myself it had been a long time, that I’d forgotten what Ronny looked like, but I knew that wasn’t it either. The resemblance was complete.

After refusing Ronny’s offer of help, Mom went off to organize the dinner, leaving me alone with this kid. He looked at me as if I were some strange insect he was thinking about collecting. Finally, he spoke again.

“So, you’re the black sheep of the family.” He seemed a little skeptical about my deserving that title.

I laughed. “You’ve been talking to Aunt Velma. She doesn’t approve of me, I’m afraid.”

“None of ’em do.” He gestured with his head toward the crowd of adults. “But I can never get ’em to tell me why you’re the black sheep. What d’ya do, get pregnant?”

“I was rude to someone,” I said curtly. “Think about it.” He laughed.

“I’ll bet it’s that,” he said, pointing to my drink. “You’re a boozer, ain’t ya?”

“Yeah, kid, now go away, I’ve got some serious boozing to do.”

He wandered off, disappointed to find that the family black sheep was just an ordinary drunk. I raised my glass in a salute and called after him, “Nice to meet you too, cousin.”

Mom, on her way back to recruit me for dinner duty, saw my gesture. She smiled at me. “Isn’t he a nice boy,” she said, “so polite, don’t you think?” She turned her fond smile on Ronny’s back.

“Yeah Mom, he’s a real charmer. Reminds me of another Ronny I’ve known.”

Mom, who never recognizes sarcasm, looked at me and smiled. “You are right, Honey. He is Just like our Ronny. Our Ronny was the sweetest boy; he had wonderful manners too.” Shaking her head slowly, she murmured, “So sad really, I wonder…” Her voice trailed off, or I stopped listening.

Polite? Sweet? I had to wonder for a moment if Mom was getting senile. Sweet? I guess I could have been wrong, maybe someone besides Aunt Dora really had been sorry when Ronny disappeared.

The week progressed as well as could be expected. I spent as much time as possible drinking gin, lazing on the beach and taking long solitary hikes. It wasn’t too difficult to wander away from the crowd with no one noticing; they were all so busy catching up on who married, divorced and gave birth to who. There was a lot of baby talk. Three of my cousins were pregnant, and the rest were giving them a crash course in parenting.

Not, mind you, that any of them seemed to do any parenting. I never got an even count on the number of off-spring in this generation of Culvers, but there were at least a thousand. They ran free and very untamed. Every few minutes someone was crying or fighting or chasing someone with a snake.

The kids shouted one name more often than the others, usually in dismay or anger, you guessed it, “Ronny!” The resemblance wasn’t just physical!

Oddly enough, I found myself watching the kids more and more as the week went on. They were sure as hell more interesting than the adults. Their interactions were full of contradictions. Like I said, at least one of them was almost always upset with Ronny, but was clear from watching he was the leader of the pack. He said jump, and all they did was to complained about how high.

Thinking back on it, I had to admit that my cousin Ronny had been the same way. I mean, all of us kids: my two brothers, my cousins Alice, Stephanie, Travis and a few others, hated Ronny most of the time, but, he was also our hero too. Funny thing how I had forgotten that.

Something else I noticed about the new Ronny, his politeness to Mom on the first day had not been a onetime thing. He was always polite to the other adults. I watched him make a point of stopping to talk with great-aunt Sophie who can’t hear and won’t get a hearing aid. No one, not even Mom, can stand talking to her for long because all the conversations consist of, “What?” and “I SAID…”

Ronny also made a point to help with the cooking or dishes and usually rounded up the other kids for meals or bedtime. That amazed me. A responsible twelve-year-old. It had to be a fluke of nature.

When I commented on it to his mother Alice, she shook her head. “I don’t know what I did Chris. I mean, I’d like to take credit for great mothering, but frankly, I can’t remember doing anything different than I did with Rachel and Amber. And I won’t even pretend they’re responsible!”

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “But you know, Chris, when you think about it, my brother Ronny was the same way before…before he disappeared.” I looked at her dubiously, but she went on, “No, think about it. Ron was a pain in the butt to us, we were kids, but if you really think back on it, he was always nice to the grownups.”

“Seems to me,” she added slyly “Ronny was pretty nice to you sometimes too.” She cut off my protest with a gesture and a laugh. “Anyway, I remember Mom and Dad talking about how helpful he was with us girls. Maybe it’s ‘cause he was the oldest. He was mature for his age.” Her eyes followed her son, “It’s kind of eerie, really.”

After dinner, that same evening, I think it was Wednesday by then, Ronny came and sat down next to me.

“Hey cousin,” he said, “How’s it going?” He leaned back in his chair and looked at me. The look on his face made me want to slap him. “Been enjoying the reunion?”

“Up ’til now,” I said. He laughed.

“What is it you want?”

“Nothin’,” He said crossing his arms behind his head, looking as if he were settling in for a while. “I thought maybe you’d like to know, you ain’t making yourself any more popular with the fogey crowd.”

“Oh?” I couldn’t say that came as a shock. I was curious though about what he’d heard. “Any complaint in particular I should know about?”

“You mean besides setting a bad example for us kids?”

“Yeah, beside that.” I said, thinking this kid probably wouldn’t need any bad examples.

“Well, you smoke too much, drink too much.” He leered a twelve-year-old leer at me, “You don’t wear enough clothes and you’re always going off alone to do “god knows what”.”

I laughed. “Oh, nothing new.”

He grinned. “Sorry, they shut up about the good dirt when one of us kids is around.” Looking at me curiously, he asked, “So where do you go all the time?”

That was none his business. I couldn’t see any reason to tell this rude little kid anything, but when I looked at him, Ronny, the old Ronny seemed to look back at me.

“I go walking. There’s a place I like to sit and think sometimes. It’s been my thinking spot for years, since I was a kid.”

“The same spot you and my Uncle Ronny used to go to?”

Startled, I looked at him. “How did you know about that?”

“Oh, my Mom tells me lots of stuff about Uncle Ronny. I mean, he was her brother, and she still misses him.”

“She still misses him? Ronny was always teasing her and Steph, well, all of us really.”

Ronny gave me a funny look. “Hey of course he teased you guys, you were all little kids, it was his job, but that don’t mean Mom and Steph didn’t love him.” He grinned slyly. “Mom told me you and Uncle Ronny sort of had a thing going too. What did she say? Oh yeah, she said, “you were sweet on each other”.”

I stared at him. Ronny and me? No way. Suddenly a long-forgotten memory came back like a physical blow: Ronny and I at my – our secret spot. Ronny was reaching out to touch me. He stroked my cheek gently and asked me why I was crying.

I sucked in my breath and held it for a moment. I released it slowly and took a deep drink from my glass. “Ronny was a pain, but he was my cousin,” I said shortly, “any “sweetness” I felt for him was just that.”

All he said was “Yeah right.”

I wanted to tell him to go away and leave me alone. There was too much Ronny-overlap, and I was feeling uneasy. Fortunately, Alice called him to go to bed then.

“Good night cousin Chrissy.” he said as he left.

He left before I could react. His last word had sent me spinning again. His uncle Ronny was the only one who had ever called me Chrissy and Ronny had only used that name when, well, when he was being nice.

How could I have forgotten that last summer so completely? All I ever remembered before now was the teasing and the “disappearing”.

I was up and off early, leaving Mom and her protests behind. She was getting fed up with my anti-social behavior. I told her it was okay because I was pretty fed up with everyone else’s too social behavior. I knew I’d pay for that one. Mom cut me a lot of slack, but I always had to push it.

The secret spot was in a tiny clearing high above the river which fed the lake. Trees surrounded it and it was very hard to find if you didn’t know exactly where to look.   Within the clearing was a grassy area and a small pool. In the wet season, the pool was a good size, but most of the time, it was just a tiny stagnant puddle. The real attraction was the deep pit which Ronny and I had always believed to be an abandon gold mine.

The mine and the privacy were the reasons we came here as kids.

Back in those days it seemed sort of glamorous to play near an old gold mine. It was dangerous, which for a couple of kids, was part of its appeal.

I settled in, leaning against a tree, determine to remember more of Ronny’s last summer. It bothered me to realize how much I had forgotten about my cousin. Perhaps it had been easier to remember him as nothing more than a trouble-maker.

I had been there about an hour when he showed up.

“Hi Chrissy.”

“Ronny?” For a moment, I wasn’t certain which Ronny I was seeing. I knew it couldn’t be my Ronny, but for another one of those split-time moments, he was my Ronny.

“Who else?”

It took an effort, but I got control of my voice and said casually, “Have you been following me cousin?”

“No need, I knew where this place was.”

My heart froze. He walked toward me slowly and sat down.

“Did you…did you ask your Mom?” I knew the answer. Alice had never known about this place. No one knew about this place.

“Nope. I told Mom I was walking to the general store to buy some candy. Mom would not have let me go walking in the woods alone, you know.”

“No,” I mumbled, “of course not.”

My heart was beating, and my mouth was dry. I looked at Ronny and Ronny looked back at me.

“Cousin Chrissy,” he asked, “do you believe in reincarnation?”

Several weeks later, sitting at home, pasting newspaper clippings into my scrapbook, I thought about his question. I still wasn’t sure I believed, but I wasn’t sure I didn’t believe it either.       

I might not be certain, but Ronny had been. Ronny had seemed so positive he was his Uncle come back. He was remembering things, things that only my Ronny had known. No, I wasn’t certain, but I couldn’t take chances.

Besides, there was a bonus, no more family reunions. Mom had said no one would have the heart for it now. That was something.

Hopefully, the third time’s the charm, I thought as I smoothed my newest clipping in next to the older ones.

I felt badly for Alice. The newspaper clipping under my fingers had a picture of her. She looked like hell. The caption read, “Frantic mother relives her own mother’s nightmare.” She really was upset. Everyone had been.

Well hell, I’d been upset too. If Ronny, my Ronny had not been such a pain and read my diary, and if he hadn’t found out what my Daddy’d done to me, and what I’d had to do to him… Most of all, I thought angrily, if he hadn’t looked at me like I was some kind of damn monster…